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s I was left myself。’’
Countess Marya wanted to tell him that man does not live by bread alone； that he attached too much importance to this work。 But she knew that she must not say this； and that it would be useless。 She only took his hand and kissed it。 He accepted this gesture on his wife’s part as a sign of assent and approval of his words； and after a few moments of silent thought he went on thinking aloud。
‘‘Do you know； Marie；’’ he said； ‘‘Ilya Mitrofanitch’’ （this was a steward of his） ‘‘was here to…day from the Tambov estate； and he tells me they will give eighty thousand for the forest。’’ And with an eager face Nikolay began talking of the possibility of buying Otradnoe back within a very short time。 ‘‘Another ten years of life； and I shall leave the children … in a capital position。’’
Countess Marya listened to her husband； and understood all he said to her。 She knew that when he was thus thinking aloud； he would sometimes ask what he had been saying； and was vexed when he noticed she had been thinking of something else。 But she had to make a great effort to attend； because she did not feel the slightest interest in what he was saying to her。 She looked at him； and though she would not exactly think of other things； her feelings were elsewhere。 She felt a submissive； tender love for this man； who could never understand all that she understood； and she seemed； for that very reason； to love him the more； with a shade of passionate tenderness。 Apart from that feeling； which absorbed her entirely； and prevented her from following the details of her husband’s plans； thoughts kept floating through her brain that had nothing in common with what he was saying。 She thought of her nephew （what her husband had said of his excitement over Pierre’s talk had made a great impression on her）； and various traits of his tender； sensitive character rose to her mind； and while she thought of her nephew； she thought； too； of her own children。 She did not compare her nephew with her own children； but she compared her own feeling for him； and her feeling for her children； and felt； with sorrow； that in her feeling for Nikolinka there was something wanting。
Sometimes the idea had occurred to her that this difference was due to his age； but she felt guilty towards him； and in her soul vowed to amend； and to do the impossible； that is； in this life； to love her husband； and her children； and Nikolinka； and all her fellow…creatures； as Christ loved men。 Countess Marya’s soul was always striving towards the infinite； the eternal； and the perfect； and so she could never be at peace。 A stern expression came into her face from that hidden； lofty suffering of the spirit； weighed down by the flesh。 Nikolay gazed at her。 ‘‘My God！ What will become of us； if she dies； as I dread； when she looks like that？’’ he thought； and standing before the holy images； he began to repeat his evening prayer。
Chapter 16
NATASHA； as soon as she was alone with her husband； had begun talking too； as only husband and wife can talk； that is； understanding and communicating their thoughts to each other； with extraordinary clearness and rapidity； by a quite peculiar method opposed to all the rules of logic； without the aid of premises； deductions； and conclusions。 Natasha was so used to talking to her husband in this fashion that a logical sequence of thought on Pierre’s part was to her an infallible symptom of something being out of tune between them。 When he began arguing； talking reasonably and calmly； and when she was led on by his example into doing the same； she knew it would infallibly lead to a quarrel。
From the moment they were alone together and Natasha； with wide…open； happy eyes； crept softly up to him and suddenly； swiftly seizing his head； pressed it to her bosom； saying； ‘‘Now you’re all mine； mine！ You shan’t escape！’’ that conversation began that contravened every rule of logic； especially because they talked of several different subjects at once。 This discussion of all sorts of things at once； far from hindering clearness of comprehension； was the surest token that they understood one another fully。
As in a dream everything is uncertain； meaningless； and contradictory except the feeling that directs the dream； so in this communion of ideas； apart from every law of reason； what is clear and consecutive is not what is said； but the feeling that prompts the words。
Natasha talked to Pierre of the daily round of existence at her brother’s； told him how she had suffered and been half…dead without him； and that she was fonder of Marie than ever； and Marie was better in every way than she was。 In saying this Natasha was quite sincere in acknowledging Marie’s superiority； but at the same time she expected Pierre to prefer her to Marie and all other women； and now； especially after he had been seeing a great many women in Petersburg； to tell her so anew。 In response to Natasha’s words； Pierre told her how intolerable he had found the evening parties and dinners with ladies in Petersburg。
‘‘I have quite lost the art of talking to ladies；’’ he said； ‘‘it was horribly tiresome。 Especially as I was so busy。’’
Natasha looked intently at him； and went on。 ‘‘Marie； now she is wonderful！’’ she said。 ‘‘The insight she has into children。 She seems to see straight into their souls。 Yesterday； for instance； Mitenka was naughty…’’
‘‘And isn’t he like his father？’’ Pierre put in。
Natasha knew why he made this remark about Mitenka’s likeness to Nikolay。 He disliked the thought of his dispute with his brother…in…law； and was longing to hear what she thought about it。
‘‘It’s a weakness of Nikolay’s； that if anything is not generally accepted； he will never agree with it。 And I see that that’s just what you value to ouvrir une carrière；’’ she said； repeating a phrase Pierre had once uttered。
‘‘No； the real thing is that to Nikolay；’’ said Pierre； ‘‘thoughts and ideas are an amusement； almost a pastime。 Here he’s forming a library and has made it a rule not to buy a new book till he has read through the last he has bought—Sismondi and Rousseau and Montesquieu；’’ Pierre added with a smile。 ‘‘You know how I—；’’ he was beginning to soften his criticism； but Natasha interrupted； giving him thereby to understand that that was not necessary。
‘‘So you say ideas to him are not serious…’’
‘‘Yes； and to me nothing else is serious。 All the while I was in Petersburg； I seemed to be seeing every one in a dream。 When I am absorbed by an idea； nothing else is serious。’’
‘‘Oh； what a pity I didn’t see your meeting with the children；’’ said Natasha。 ‘‘Which was the most pleased？ Liza； of course？’’
‘‘Yes；’’ said Pierre； and he went on with what interested him。 ‘‘Nikolay says we ought not to think。 But I can’t help it。 To say nothing of the fact （I can say so to you） that in Petersburg I felt that the whole thing would go to pieces without me； every one pulled his own way。 But I succeeded in bringing them all together； and then my idea is so clear and simple。 I don’t say we ought to work against so and so。 We may be mistaken。 But I say let those join hands who care for the good cause； and let our one standard be energy and honesty。 Prince Sergey is a capital fellow； and clever。’’
Natasha would have had no doubt that Pierre’s idea was a grand idea； but that one thing troubled her。 It was his being her husband。 ‘‘Is it possible that a man of such value； of such importance to society； is at the same time my husband？ How can it have happened？’’ She wanted to express this doubt to him。 ‘‘Who are the persons who could decide positively whether he is so much cleverer than all of them？’’ she wondered； and she went over in imagination the people who were very much respected by Pierre。 There was nobody whom； to judge by his own account； he had respected so much as Platon Karataev。
‘‘Do you know what I am thinking about？’’ she said。 ‘‘About Platon Karataev。 What would he have said？ Would he have approved of you now？’’
Pierre was not in the least surprised at this question。 He understood the connection of his wife’s ideas。
‘‘Platon Karataev？’’ he said； and he ponde