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churches； a landing…stair； all unsightly； sour； northerly； lying
athwart the sunrise； with the great wall of the pali cutting the
world out on the south。 Our lepers were sent on the first boat；
about a dozen； one poor child very horrid； one white man； leaving a
large grown family behind him in Honolulu； and then into the second
stepped the sisters and myself。 I do not know how it would have
been with me had the sisters not been there。 My horror of the
horrible is about my weakest point； but the moral loveliness at my
elbow blotted all else out； and when I found that one of them was
crying； poor soul； quietly under her veil； I cried a little myself；
then I felt as right as a trivet； only a little crushed to be there
so uselessly。 I thought it was a sin and a shame she should feel
unhappy； I turned round to her； and said something like this：
'Ladies； God Himself is here to give you welcome。 I'm sure it is
good for me to be beside you； I hope it will be blessed to me； I
thank you for myself and the good you do me。' It seemed to cheer
her up； but indeed I had scarce said it when we were at the
landing…stairs； and there was a great crowd； hundreds of （God save
us！） pantomime masks in poor human flesh； waiting to receive the
sisters and the new patients。
Every hand was offered： I had gloves； but I had made up my mind on
the boat's voyage NOT to give my hand； that seemed less offensive
than the gloves。 So the sisters and I went up among that crew； and
presently I got aside （for I felt I had no business there） and set
off on foot across the promontory； carrying my wrap and the camera。
All horror was quite gone from me： to see these dread creatures
smile and look happy was beautiful。 On my way through Kalaupapa I
was exchanging cheerful ALOHAS with the patients coming galloping
over on their horses； I was stopping to gossip at house…doors； I
was happy； only ashamed of myself that I was here for no good。 One
woman was pretty； and spoke good English； and was infinitely
engaging and （in the old phrase） towardly； she thought I was the
new white patient； and when she found I was only a visitor； a
curious change came in her face and voice … the only sad thing；
morally sad； I mean … that I met that morning。 But for all that；
they tell me none want to leave。 Beyond Kalaupapa the houses
became rare； dry stone dykes； grassy； stony land； one sick
pandanus； a dreary country； from overhead in the little clinging
wood shogs of the pali chirruping of birds fell； the low sun was
right in my face； the trade blew pure and cool and delicious； I
felt as right as ninepence； and stopped and chatted with the
patients whom I still met on their horses； with not the least
disgust。 About half…way over； I met the superintendent （a leper）
with a horse for me； and O； wasn't I glad！ But the horse was one
of those curious； dogged； cranky brutes that always dully want to
go somewhere else； and my traffic with him completed my crushing
fatigue。 I got to the guest…house； an empty house with several
rooms； kitchen； bath； etc。 There was no one there； and I let the
horse go loose in the garden； lay down on the bed； and fell asleep。
Dr。 Swift woke me and gave me breakfast； then I came back and slept
again while he was at the dispensary； and he woke me for dinner；
and I came back and slept again； and he woke me about six for
supper； and then in about an hour I felt tired again； and came up
to my solitary guest…house； played the flageolet； and am now
writing to you。 As yet； you see； I have seen nothing of the
settlement； and my crushing fatigue （though I believe that was
moral and a measure of my cowardice） and the doctor's opinion make
me think the pali hopeless。 'You don't look a strong man；' said
the doctor； 'but are you sound？' I told him the truth； then he
said it was out of the question； and if I were to get up at all； I
must be carried up。 But； as it seems； men as well as horses
continually fall on this ascent： the doctor goes up with a change
of clothes … it is plain that to be carried would in itself be very
fatiguing to both mind and body； and I should then be at the
beginning of thirteen miles of mountain road to be ridden against
time。 How should I come through？ I hope you will think me right
in my decision： I mean to stay； and shall not be back in Honolulu
till Saturday； June first。 You must all do the best you can to
make ready。
Dr。 Swift has a wife and an infant son； beginning to toddle and
run； and they live here as composed as brick and mortar … at least
the wife does； a Kentucky German； a fine enough creature； I
believe； who was quite amazed at the sisters shedding tears！ How
strange is mankind！ Gilfillan too； a good fellow I think； and far
from a stupid； kept up his hard Lowland Scottish talk in the boat
while the sister was covering her face； but I believe he knew； and
did it （partly） in embarrassment； and part perhaps in mistaken
kindness。 And that was one reason； too； why I made my speech to
them。 Partly； too； I did it； because I was ashamed to do so； and
remembered one of my golden rules； 'When you are ashamed to speak；
speak up at once。' But； mind you； that rule is only golden with
strangers； with your own folks； there are other considerations。
This is a strange place to be in。 A bell has been sounded at
intervals while I wrote； now all is still but a musical humming of
the sea； not unlike the sound of telegraph wires； the night is
quite cool and pitch dark； with a small fine rain； one light over
in the leper settlement； one cricket whistling in the garden； my
lamp here by my bedside； and my pen cheeping between my inky
fingers。
Next day； lovely morning； slept all night； 80 degrees in the shade；
strong； sweet Anaho trade…wind。
LOUIS。
Letter： TO SIDNEY COLVIN
HONOLULU； JUNE 1889。
MY DEAR COLVIN； … I am just home after twelve days journey to
Molokai； seven of them at the leper settlement； where I can only
say that the sight of so much courage； cheerfulness； and devotion
strung me too high to mind the infinite pity and horror of the
sights。 I used to ride over from Kalawao to Kalaupapa （about three
miles across the promontory； the cliff…wall； ivied with forest and
yet inaccessible from steepness； on my left）； go to the Sisters'
home； which is a miracle of neatness； play a game of croquet with
seven leper girls （90 degrees in the shade）； got a little old…maid
meal served me by the Sisters； and ride home again； tired enough；
but not too tired。 The girls have all dolls； and love dressing
them。 You who know so many ladies delicately clad； and they who
know so many dressmakers； please make it known it would be an
acceptable gift to send scraps for doll dressmaking to the Reverend
Sister Maryanne； Bishop Home； Kalaupapa； Molokai； Hawaiian Islands。
I have seen sights that cannot be told； and heard stories that
cannot be repeated： yet I never admired my poor race so much； nor
（strange as it may seem） loved life more than in the settlement。 A
horror of moral beauty broods over the place： that's like bad
Victor Hugo； but it is the only way I can express the sense that
lived with me all these days。 And this even though it was in great
part Catholic； and my sympathies flew never with so much difficulty
as towards Catholic virtues。 The pass…book kept with heaven stirs
me to anger and laughter。 One of the sisters calls the place 'the
ticket office to heaven。' Well； what is the odds？ They do their
darg and do it with kindness and efficiency incredible； and we must
take folk's virtues as we find them； and love the better part。 Of
old Damien； whose weaknesses and worse perhaps I heard fully； I
think only the more。 It was a European peasant： dirty； bigoted；
untruthful； unwise； tricky； but superb with gene