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and gave me time to reflect what mighty matter I had gained by
all this bustle; and I often used to think myself in the case of
the fox…hunter; who; when he has toiled and sweated all day in
the chase as if some unheard…of blessing was to crown his
success; finds at last all he has got by his labor is a stinking
nauseous animal。 But my condition was yet worse than his; for he
leaves the loathsome wretch to be torn by his hounds; whilst I
was obliged to fondle mine; and meanly pretend him to be the
object of my love。 For the whole time I was in this envied; this
exalted state; I led a continual life of hypocrisy; which I now
know nothing on earth can compensate。 I had no companion but the
man I hated。 I dared not disclose my sentiments to any person
about me; nor did any one presume to enter into any freedom of
conversation with me; but all who spoke to me talked to the
queen; and not to me; for they would have said just the same
things to a dressed…up puppet; if the king had taken a fancy to
call it his wife。 And as I knew every woman in the court was my
enemy; from thinking she had much more right than I had to the
place I filled; I thought myself as unhappy as if I had been
placed in a wild wood; where there was no human creature for me
to speak to; in a continual fear of leaving any traces of my
footsteps; lest I should be found by some dreadful monster; or
stung by snakes and adders; for such are spiteful women to the
objects of their envy。 In this worst of all situations I was
obliged to hide my melancholy and appear cheerful。 This threw me
into an error the other way; and I sometimes fell into a levity
in my behavior that was afterwards made use of to my
disadvantage。 I had a son deadborn; which I perceived abated
something of the king's ardor; for his temper could not brook the
least disappointment。 This gave me no uneasiness; for; not
considering the consequences; I could not help being best pleased
when I had least of his company。 Afterwards I found he had cast
his eyes on one of my maids of honor; and; whether it was owing
to any art of hers; or only to the king's violent passions; I was
in the end used even worse than my former mistress had been by my
means。 The decay of the king's affection was presently seen by
all those court…sycophants who continually watch the motions of
royal eyes; and the moment they found they could be heard against
me they turned my most innocent actions and words; nay; even my
very looks; into proofs of the blackest crimes。 The king; who
was impatient to enjoy his new love; lent a willing ear to all my
accusers; who found ways of making him jealous that I was false
to his bed。 He would not so easily have believed anything
against me before; but he was now glad to flatter himself that he
had found a reason to do just what he had resolved upon without a
reason; and on some slight pretenses and hearsay evidence I was
sent to the Tower; where the lady who was my greatest enemy was
appointed to watch me and lie in the same chamber with me。 This
was really as bad a punishment as my death; for she insulted me
with those keen reproaches and spiteful witticisms; which threw
me into such vapors and violent fits that I knew not what I
uttered in this condition。 She pretended I had confessed talking
ridiculous stuff with a set of low fellows whom I had hardly ever
taken notice of; as could have imposed on none but such as were
resolved to believe。 I was brought to my trial; and; to blacken
me the more; accused of conversing criminally with my own
brother; whom indeed I loved extremely well; but never looked on
him in any other light than as my friend。 However; I was
condemned to be beheaded; or burnt; as the king pleased; and he
was graciously pleased; from the great remains of his love; to
choose the mildest sentence。 I was much less shocked at this
manner of ending my life than I should have been in any other
station: but I had had so little enjoyment from the time I had
been a queen; that death was the less dreadful to me。 The chief
things that lay on my conscience were the arts I made use of to
induce the king to part with the queen; my ill usage of lady
Mary; and my jilting lord Percy。 However; I endeavored to calm
my mind as well as I could; and hoped these crimes would be
forgiven me; for in other respects I had led a very innocent
life; and always did all the good…natured actions I found any
opportunity of doing。 From the time I had it in my power; I gave
a great deal of money amongst the poor; I prayed very devoutly;
and went to my execution very composedly。 Thus I lost my life at
the age of twenty…nine; in which short time I believe I went
through more variety of scenes than many people who live to be
very old。 I had lived in a court; where I spent my time in
coquetry and gayety; I had experienced what it was to have one of
those violent passions which makes the mind all turbulence and
anxiety; I had had a lover whom I esteemed and valued; and at the
latter part of my life I was raised to a station as high as the
vainest woman could wish。 But in all these various changes I
never enjoyed any real satisfaction; unless in the little time I
lived retired in the country free from all noise and hurry; and
while I was conscious I was the object of the love and esteem of
a man of sense and honor。〃
On the conclusion of this history Minos paused for a small time;
and then ordered the gate to be thrown open for Anna Boleyn's
admittance on the consideration that whoever had suffered being
the queen for four years; and been sensible during all that time
of the real misery which attends that exalted station; ought to
be forgiven whatever she had done to obtain it。'11'
'11' Here ends this curious manuscript; the rest being destroyed
in rolling up pens; tobacco; &c。 It is to be hoped heedless people
will henceforth be more cautious what they burn; or use to other
vile purposes; especially when they consider the fate which had
likely to have befallen the divine Milton; and that the works
of Homer were probably discovered in some chandlers shop in Greece。
End